Our Angel Baby and Companion Baby

The label “sunshine baby” symbolically represents the calm before the storm, before a subsequent baby dies and goes to heaven. I didn’t know this but chose to call our firstborn son a “companion baby”, because of the way he helped us through the terrible and heartbreaking ordeal of losing a child through stillbirth.

Once upon a time, there was a fun-loving 2-year-old boy growing up with his mum and dad.

He was very excited to discover he was going to be a big brother.

“How will the baby get here?”, he asked.

“By special delivery service, of course”, his mum replied.

That made sense. He was a big fan of Postman Pat!

His mummy’s tummy expanded rapidly but sadly he never got to see the Special Delivery he was waiting for.

The baby wasn’t strong enough and his heartbeat suddenly faded away one day. Mum and Dad came home from hospital with the upsetting, confusing news that he had a brother in heaven who he would never see, but would always be watching over him. The soft teddy who had been with his brother in the hospital was there as a reminder of the moment he had arrived into the world.

So the little boy hugged tight to his mum and dad and was the best Companion baby for them.

He played with Mum and Dad, made them smile and laugh, and drew them into his world of make-believe. He distracted them with potty training and the inevitable accidents, water gun fights in the garden, dressing up as his favourite characters, and putting on puppet shows.

He was very protective of his mum and dad, and if they started to cry, he tried his hardest to cheer them up. He thought the visitors may have upset them and tried his best to send them away or barricade the door with his toys to keep them out.

They read poems and stories about the namesake of his angel baby brother and imagined him playing happily in heaven with all of the other angel babies with toys that money could not buy.

In a baby castle by Doris Stokes

In a baby castle just beyond my eye, My baby plays with angel toys that money cannot buy.
Who am I to wish him back,
Into this world of strife?
No, play on my baby,
You have eternal life.

At night when all is silent
And sleep forsakes my eyes
I’ll hear his tiny footsteps come running to my side.
His little hands caress me, so tenderly and sweet.
I’ll breathe a prayer and close my eyes and embrace him in my sleep.
Now I have a treasure that I rate above all other,
I have known true glory — I am still his mother.

Extract from “Innocent Voices in my ear” by Doris Stokes